Friday 11 April 2014

Nigerian Idol: Another Season of Boredom

Last weekend’s episode of Nigerian Idol was so boring but I watched it till the end in the hope that someone would come up and upstage the preceding acts. In the end, my patience was unrewarded.
There are 30 contestants left in the show which began on 1 March. In this episode, 10 contestants making up the third batch sang, and with the exception of Obed and BeeBee, they all shared a lack of talent. They were short of the voice and charisma and any other needed attributes to justify their presence on television.
Even the ‘exceptional’ performances were only brilliant in the context of the night’s show. They were not so much better than the worship songs that streams in from the church behind my window into my room. And to think I used to consider that a nuisance.
In the pre-show interviews, most of the contestants gave excuses for their poor showing in advance, complaining that they didn’t like the songs imposed on them, and that they were yet to master the lyrics. On stage, some were inhibited by self-consciousness while others were unnecessarily confident to the point of arrogance. Such predictable doom, the sort of performances that make judges stutter. There was no redeeming quality on which to begin their critique.
I assume the judges – Dede Mabiaku, Nneka Egbuna, and Darey Art Alade – selected the contestants for the show. If so, good for them. At some point, the judges could not disguise their weariness with the performances.
Nneka in particular looked perpetually confused, and always owned up to that. About Esther’s performance she had nothing to say but compliment her looks, adding the unsolicited opinion about her wish that Nigerian women would emulate Esther’s haircut, in other words, dish the wig and embrace natural hair. Noted.
A few questions arise: can’t Nigerians sing anymore? Are the better singers deferring their ambition till the next season of X Factor, which gives to the winner about double the prize money?
Are the judges so fatigued that they cannot give astute critique for every performance? Are contestants tired from living in crammed rooms with narrow beds that remind them of boarding schools, as briefly shown, probably as a result of an editing error?
Whatever the answers to these questions, the novelty of singing competitions for me has worn off. We have seen Nigerian Idol three times before, and other shows with this format many times over: a singer comes on stage, sings, the audience claps regardless of the quality of the performance, judges give their opinion or repeat a fellow judge’s, the host asks the viewers to vote, and the audience clap again as the contestant goes off stage.
Without new tricks, there may be no incentive to watch the show another time.
Admittedly, with 30 contestants still in the show, it is too early to expect a Mariah Carey clone, too early for me, a viewer, to judge, but IllRymz has given me the authority by asking me to vote for my favourite contestant, asking me to judge.
He makes a point of reminding us after each performance to vote, that the judges’ opinion do not count, only the viewers’ votes do. Now, the contestant with the largest family disguising as fans who vote repeatedly remains in the show at the expense of the more talented.
Why then do they have judges if they are so irrelevant to the process of selecting the winner? Why put Nneka through so much agony if her opinion really doesn’t count?
This batch of contestants may not be epresentative of all the contestants on the show. Hopefully, there is enough talent among the 20 contestants in the first and second batches to produce a worthy idol.
I wish them all well, and may the contestant with the largest, richest, and most enthusiastic family and friends win.

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